Lessons in Failure & Literature
Life has changed a lot in the last few weeks. We moved from Edinburgh back to Seattle and last week I started my master's program at University of Glasgow as part of their distance learning program. And as I embrace these changes, I've also spent a fair bit of time reflecting.
This year was a lot of things for me. Most notably, it was a lesson in failure, resilience, flexibility, and patience. My original plan was to attend the University of Edinburgh and get my degree while Reese was also attending to earn his MBA. I applied, and was rejected, twice. That sucked. And, as many know, I don't do well without a plan. In no reality would I just twiddle my thumbs for a year, but I wanted something to show for it. So for everyone that asked me what I did for a whole year without a job, this is for you:
This year I…
Read 25 books
Finished writing a novel and started another
Wrote 14 short stories
Submitted work to 10 publications
If I'm being honest, I had hoped the last three points would've had higher numbers, but that's where flexibility and patience came in. I had a goal of reading 40 books, writing 2 full novels, and 15 short stories. I didn't create a goal for submissions because I wanted to focus on creation this year.
This was a year of learning for me. At no other time in my life have I had so few external factors structuring or influencing my time. The only things that were truly mandatory in my life this year were feeding and walking the dogs, feeding myself and Reese, and occasionally cleaning. The rest of it was up to me.
So me being me, I made a syllabus. Admittedly, it was overly ambitious (a common observation my manager often made when I was at my previous job). But honestly, I work better that way. I epitomize the carrot-stick philosophy. I will always strive to hit the mark. So if I set the bar higher, I'll likely get more done than if I set it at a more reasonable height.
To help me attempt some of these goals, I also attended a few writing courses and retreats organized by University of New Orleans and Moniack Mhor, respectively, where I gained invaluable experience from practiced writers as well as my peers.
And in attempts to complete my syllabus, I stumbled on some unexpected lessons.
It's ok not to like every book you buy or every famous author. This was especially hard for me because I tend to want to enjoy the classics. But I just couldn't get through Catch 22 or Infinite Jest and, though I finished the book, A Farewell to Arms left me frustrated.
Give yourself room to get lost in a book. On the flip side, there were a few books that once I started them, I couldn't put them down until I was done with them. And even then, they still all roll around in my thoughts influencing my own writing. I read a lot of good books this year, but at the top of the list are Underground Railroad, Americana, Fates & Furies, and Difficult Women.
Give yourself room to get lost in your writing (even if it's bad), (especially when it's bad). Sometimes, most of the time, this was hard. With every space I put between every word I knew I hadn't found the right combination of words but eventually things feel alright and eventually even presentable.
Read short stories. I know they're not main stream. I don't expect people to start subscribing to literary journals. But buy a collection every now and again. They tell amazing stories and they won't take up too much of your time.
Read often. Somewhere between high school and now reading became more of an assignment than fun. This past year has taught me that even if you don't like something you can still learn from it. Look for the lesson. It's like a puzzle.
Compete and support. Just because someone is in the same field as you doesn't necessarily make them competition. And even if they are, competition isn't always bad. Spending five weeks with other writers day in and day out really cemented this for me. I didn't feel overly competitive with fellow writers before hand, but it really just taught me what a great community there was around me if I was open to it. To be a bit of a cliché, put your best foot forward and support your community.
This year, I'm looking forward to having some structure imposed on my life by someone other than myself. Having completed my first two weeks of classes, I can say with all honesty I missed having hard deadlines. I manage my time so much better.
I'm sure there's plenty that will come up over the year that I won't expect. There will be new lessons that I learn and irrevocably change the way I live my life. I can't wait.
